How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize