I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
