Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
