Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
