How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize