So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize