i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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