Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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