Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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