apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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