If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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