It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize