Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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