easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
