Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
