escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
