he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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