Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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