"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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