The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
