Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
