I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
