he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
