I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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