if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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