why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
