bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
