Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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