I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
