how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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