Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
