It's Friday. Sex?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
