insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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