i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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