you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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