he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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