I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
