in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
