the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
