What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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