What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
