Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
