you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
