I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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