What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
