But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
