I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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