oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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