shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I didn't notice because vodka
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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