Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
