is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
