I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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