The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
