fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
