Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
