At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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