Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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