they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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