I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
