got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
FUCK WHALES
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
