Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
