and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
