I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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