i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
