For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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