I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
