Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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